My Fry and Laurie Fantasy

2008-04-20T18:18:13Z

This is a response to buckle_berry's "embarrassing meme day" post from five months ago.

Procrastination is an art form.

This is a shameless "Mary Sue" entry.

By no means an art form, but a good way to kick start my introverted inner slasher, that's been contemplating Hugh and Stephen in all sorts of situations and positions, long before I discovered the term "Slash", and the existence of entire communities sharing my "Stugh Belief System", merely 7 months ago.

Some jolly 7 months indeed.

My fantasy is not primarily romantic or sexual in nature (except for separate exceptionally loud sex); it's more about friendship and laughing heartily.

It all sort of came about while sitting on the dentist's chair, trying to avoid awareness of him perforating into my horrified skull.

In my fantasy I'm a somewhat reputable concert pianist, and I'm offered an opportunity (I can't refuse) to work as a musical director in a Hollywood film about professional pianists; a sort of coach for playing the piano pieces right on film, and a musical advisor in general.

This proposition becomes non-refusable once, due to a just strike of the Writers Guild of America, a very busy actor finds himself available, and accepts the lead role in the film.

When we first meet, Hugh Laurie tells me he could personally gratify each member of the Guild orally for enabling this opportunity, one he considers second only to portraying Muddy Waters, which he reckons unlikely to happen.

I laugh heartily and reckon this is the beginning a wonderful friendship.

We work together long hours in preparation for his scenes and become intimately close through music. We work very seriously but also laugh a lot, and develop our own inner language regarding music and the absurd industry we got ourselves in.

I of course tell him how much I admire his talents and love the shows he was in, and he finds me brilliant and sweet and funny. We start spending time together after hours, sometimes going out for a drink or dinner, and I introduce him to my girlfriend, whom he obviously finds charming, and we all feel effortlessly at ease with each other.

After a few weeks he tells me that his friend Stephen Fry is coming to stay in LA for a few days and that I must meet him. I agree with his assessment.

For my stay in LA, my girlfriend, Sadie, and I rent a beach house in Malibu. Nothing extravagant; a simple house on a private beach with full ocean view terrace, two bedrooms and a grand piano in the living room. I invite Hugh to bring Stephen along and stay for a weekend with us.

They arrive Friday afternoon.

We all get along swimmingly and enjoy a beautiful sunset on the terrace. Stephen is on a break (no pun intended) from making his "Stephen Fry's in America" series for the BBC, and he tells us hilarious anecdotes as we gulp through two bottles of wine before dinner.

Hugh and Stephen keep interchanging the funniest retorts as they beam at each other, and we laugh until we cry.

Inspired by the protracted mouth-watering description of a barbeque he had in Texas, and frankly too relaxed to get up and actually cook, we decide to embrace the very American practice of preparing meat in the garden, and use the barbeque near the terrace to grill some of the meat Sadie and I stocked up the fridge with.

Stephen and I manage to create a Texan-Israeli basting sauce and amuse ourselves while handling the apparatus. We all enjoy the food, the wine and the evening breeze until it gets late and too cold.

We go inside and I express the hope they wouldn't mind sharing a bed, as we only have the one guestroom. Hugh blushes a bit and Stephen says with a grin that it would be entirely satisfactory. We all wish each other goodnight and enter our separate bedrooms.

Feeling very excited about the whole situation, not to mention more than a bit tiddly, Sadie and I jump each other immediately and proceed to have intense passionate sex. We stifle our moans and groans as best we can, out of respect for the guests on the other side of the wall, but it's only after we both climax, that I start hearing the noises my two favourite comedians are emitting in their own ecstasy. I keep listening in perfect bliss until I fall asleep.

The next day I wake up rather early to find only Stephen is up and busy on his computer. I grind fresh coffee for both of us and sit with him on the terrace.

I let myself wake up slowly, watching the ocean, while Stephen keeps typing away, occasionally switching between music files from his computer, he thinks I might like.

Sadie wakes up next and we cuddle up on the terrace settee. Hugh wakes up last and joins us lazily, still in his boxer shorts. As he comes outside we share an affectionate broad and knowing smile, and he proceeds to sit on the armrest of Stephen's chair, while we all enjoy the music and tranquillity.

Hugh finally gets up and says he should go practice the piano, and we both go inside and get into our practice routine. Hugh says playing the piano in his underpants makes him feel more liberated than he felt in months.

We work very seriously for a couple of hours, while Sadie and Stephen start cooking in the joining kitchen.

When we feel we've accomplished enough for the time being, Hugh takes a deep breath and looks up at Stephen, talking with Sadie in the kitchen. He looks at him for a few moments smiling, then leans down and tells me how sometimes he still gets an erection just from hearing Stephen's voice.

He then starts playing an absurdly romantic 30's tune and sings for Stephen in a silly voice. Stephen comes out of the kitchen laughing and we all guffaw as Stephen and Hugh get into their comic routine.

I get up to embrace Sadie from behind, and as I examine the devoted loving manner in which they gaze at each other, I hope we'll be that much in love after 27 years.

The rest of the day goes by peacefully as we enjoy the amenities of the place and company.

Hugh and Stephen take a long walk on the beach and return, still discussing the possibility of working together again, maybe even on a sketch show.

We turn in early, and this night Sadie and I don't feel at all embarrassed to have rip-roaring loud sex, feeling we've reached that degree of intimacy with our guests.

From the sound of it, seems our guests feel the same.

The next morning it's Stephen and I, again, that wake up earliest, and we pootle down the beach for a couple of hours, talking about decomposing composers, art and philosophy. I try to assimilate all the ideas we discuss, feeling edified and enlightened.

By the time we return everybody is up and busy. We join our loved ones for one last lunch, before Hugh and Stephen have to leave. We make it a prolonged one since neither one wants to end this perfect weekend, especially me, since this is MY perfection of a weekend.

As we hug our goodbyes, Stephen invites us for a private wrap party at his Norfolk house, once the movie is over.

I promise to come visit next time I have a cavity to fill.

First Post

2008-04-18T14:51:13Z

I am completely besotted with Stephen Fry and or Hugh Laurie.

"If a thing’s worth doing, it’s worth getting absolutely miserable about."

My Fry and Laurie Fantasy

First Post